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Honour thy father and thy mother

September 29, 2011 - Michael Palmer
This is part two of my previous blog, an attempt to define some of the ramblings.

"Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."

Depending upon which particular bible of the Judeo-Christian faith you read, that is the fourth or fifth of the Ten Commandments.

The problem is that no definition of the words father and mother are included. If you define father in the literal sense, that it is a male person whose sperm unites with an egg, resulting in the conception of a child, then every male who has begotten a child is a "father."

I am not a biblical scholar and make no attempt to slander anyone's beliefs but I can not help but suggest perhaps there should be some qualifications put on that title, father. Maybe changing the translation to Dad instead. Then including a paragraph in the footnotes explaining that a father produces a child but a dad is so much more.

The words ‘dad’ and ‘father’ are very similar and yet, I think to many people they hold very different meanings.

It can be said that any man who procreates is a father, whether present in that child's life or not. While this is technically true, it really takes a man to step up and be a dad.

Let us for arguments sake define a father as something different from a dad; a father being more of a biological term than a role or relationship. A father is a reproductive assistant, a ‘sperm donor’, if you will. A father need only contribute the biological components necessary to produce the child. After that, the father’s role and obligation to the child is over. A father doesn’t need to be around to father a child. A father doesn’t need to participate to be a father. A father doesn’t need to be present to be a father.

A dad is someone that is there for his children. A dad watches and actively participates in their lives. A dad helps them grow up, participates actively in raising them, nurtures them as they grow by being present in a supporting role.

If we make the same attempt to mark the distinction between a 'mother' and a 'mom' and can carry those definitions into the interpretation of this Commandment, I think it would help so many children struggling to honor fathers and mothers, who I would argue are unworthy of any debt or obligation to be honored.

Abuse from parents; sexual, physical or other, should preclude any such biblical respect from the child towards their parents.

The ever-abundant brainwashing of a child to accept these persons as mother and father and to spend their lives in constant turmoil, as they continue to try and gain the acceptance they can never attain, is extremely cruel. A severe punishment should be imposed on these sadistic, abusive parents for harvesting this into our society.

This toxic environment is a contagion and I believe our entire society is suffering from the disintegration of the traditional family unit and the core values it instilled in adults of my generation.

The entire incident (involving law enforcement being called to calm a grown man) stemmed from a four hour ride that my son-in-law had with his "father." It seems he poured out his heart to the man who locked him in his room, beat him severely on several occasions during his childhood and constantly belittles and degrades him. Guess how that went?

You must be psychic, that is exactly how it went. There was no Hallmark moment, no Dr. Phil family reunion of tears, no remorse, no sympathy, just more of the same sadistic behavior that this man has displayed for the past three decades.

However, at some point my son-in-law needs to take responsibility for his own actions. To explain by example: If you pet a kitten that seems all cute and cuddly and it rolls over and claws your hands and bites your fingers.....then you go back and pet that same kitten day-after-day-after-day, each time with the same result - at what point does it stop being the cats fault?

"But I (son-in-law) have children now, they (monsters) want to see their grandchildren, so this gives me the opportunity to work my way back into their lives." I am paraphrasing that but in essence that is his argument.

The willingness to put yourself before your children is selfish. While occasionally a parent does something selfish, like going on a night out or such, and that is justified, I think the act of sacrificing your child/children to such monsters in an effort to gain their approval is insanity.

The fact that my daughter is a party to this in an effort to appease her husband is baffling to me. It is illogical to think a person who displays no other outward signs that they have changed their personality or philosophy on child rearing should be allowed to spend any unsupervised time with a child is ludicrous by my judgment.

In addition to this madness, I have learned that these other grandparents (monsters) do not want anything to do with the youngest, a grandson. It is because he has blond hair, and looks nothing like his father. Heck yeah, that seems a very logical conclusion made by what obviously must be a geneticist.

I even recently heard my son-in-law go on a forty-five minute dissertation on how his sons hair would soon be turning red because of recessive and dominant genes while he explained that no one on his side of the family has blond hair. Where did that idea come from?

It clearly displays that these parents (monsters) still have an amazing power over this poor young man. His life is still in turmoil because of their abusive behavior and until he sees them for what they really are and understands that the only solution is a complete break with them, it will continue.

I repeat: Albert Einstein once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

Think about this quote for a second and ask yourself, does these words apply to the way you are living your life?

 
 

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