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Rants of a monaga-reader or simply: Tricia's library card is revoked

March 10, 2009 - Taste Buds
THERE ARE few things the Buds enjoy more in life than a good meal. But, one thing that does come close - and can be written about in public - is a good book.

The Buds are both avid readers and will read just about anything. Still, how we go about reading said books are as different as night and day.

Bud Tricia is what Bud Em refers to as a biblio-slut or book slut, if you will.

We know that is not the type of language you have come to expect from the Buds but, well, the truth hurts and we're sorry. We just can't sugar coat it anymore!

Bud Tricia will read a dozen books - all at the same time!

This is something to which Bud Em can not relate as she loves to immerse herself in one book at a time, becoming one with the characters. She is what we call a monoga-reader - loving only one book at a time.

We think Bud Tricia has some sort of attention disorder when it comes to her reading material as she always has several books going at once. She keeps one in each bathroom. One in her purse. One in the car. One in the living room and one in the family room. The rest are piled on her dresser for easy bedtime reading.

At present, Bud Tricia's stack includes:

"The Gatherer," by Jerry Bayne - this is a book that came to the office. It's a little sci-fi-ish and was already read by Bud Em. It focuses on a the efforts of a Boston detective and a priest to find out what kind of creature is murdering people in the city.

The March issue of "Better Homes and Gardens," because you never know when she may actually need to plant a garden.

The February issue of "National Geographic" because of the intriguing article on Charles Darwin. Reading this is just an extension of her reading "Origin of the Species" 20 years ago.

"Sean Conway's Cultivating Life: 125 Projects for Backyard Living" by Sean Conway and Lee Alan Buttala. This is yet another book that landed on our desks at The Times Leader. Bud Tricia decided to read it because, for some unknown reason, she has become convinced she may actually need to build an outdoor kitchen in her lifetime.

"Size 2 for Life," byAshley Marriott and Marc L. Paulsen, M.D. This is a diet and exercise book which Bud Tricia is fascinated with just because of the title.

The Bible. This is for guidance and a must read for everyone!

"Mary Shelley," by Miranda Seymour. This is a biography of the author of "Frankenstein." It is Bud Tricia's firm belief that in order to be a good writer you have to know about good writers. Bud Em believes this is just one of Bud Tricia's many so-called beliefs that she uses to justify the ever-growing stack of books at her bedside!

"Undaunted Courage" by Stephen E. Ambrose. This appeals to Bud Tricia's history buff side and was recommended by her father. It deals with the adventures of Merriweather Lewis and Williams Clark. She hasn't cracked this one yet but has flipped through the pictures on the inside. It's history - it will still be history by the time she gets around to reading it!

"When the Heart Cries," by Cindy Woodsmall. This is Book 1 of the three part Sisters of the Quilt series. This novel focuses on a 17-year-old girl who is raised in an Old Order Amish family who wants to break custom by marrying outside the family. Who doesn't love a good book on the Amish! This is a newcomer to the stack, borrowed from Bud Tricia's cousin. She wanted to give Bud Tricia the other two in the series but she was afraid it would topple the pile!

"Gone With the Wind" by Margaret Mitchell. This was given to Bud Tricia by Bud Em and she has been attempting to finish it for about six months now. Bud Em gets very impatient when updates on her progress are given. Right now, Bud Tricia is at the point where Scarlett is visiting Rhett in jail in hopes of securing money to pay the taxes on Tara. Don't ruin the ending for her!

"The Shack" by William Paul Young. This book was recommend to Bud Tricia by a friend at aerobics and bought while out shopping with Bud Em. Its main character is in the midst of a crisis of faith when he receives a note - apparently from God - asking to meet him at the scene of our hero's greatest nightmare. This is the book that is getting the most attention from Bud Tricia not only because of the story line which is gripping but also because Bud Em wants to read it! We don't need another "Gone With the Wind" repeat!

While all of the reading mentioned above goes on, Bud Em reads a single book.

Currently that book is "The Book of God" by Walther Wangerin, Jr. Simply put, it is the Bible as a novel - and WAY easier to read than the Old Testament!

That's it. Just one book. And she surely thinks that Bud Tricia's running around on Scarlett O'Hara - the greatest heroin of literary history - is atrocious.

The first time Em read GWTW was in the 10th grade and it was required reading. She was hooked immediately and finished it in a few short days. As it remains her favorite book, she has read it many times since.

She often admonishes Tricia about her lack of commitment to the book.

But frankly, Tricia just doesn't give a damn.


Here's a recipe we recommend for enjoying with a good book and a tall glass of milk! Mix up a batch today, and as God is your witness, you'll never go hungry again!

1 1/2 cups Crisco or Spry
4 eggs
4 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups raisins, chopped or ground
2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup milk
4 cups uncooked Mother's Oats
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups nuts chopped

Mix (in order), the sugar, Crisco, eggs, salt and milk (beat after each addition). Add the oats, vanilla, soda, baking powder, flour, nuts, and raisins. Mix this all together. Grease cookie sheets. Drop by teaspoonful and bake until light brown in 350 degree oven for 20 to 25 minutes.

Connie Gdula of St. Clairsville


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This is Bud Tricia's obscene stack of books. Contact Bud Em if you'd like to attend the intervention that is being planned to rid Tricia of her serial-reading ways.