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Does that come in Pink?

April 16, 2009 - Michael Palmer
What happened to good manners? The large part of society seems to have lost their good manners, people seem to be easily upset by the smallest annoyances anymore and then proceed to act like they do not have good sense, threatening violence and screaming profanities.

It may be that parenting has really gone downhill in the last few decades since Ozzie and Harriet provided an example of how-to properly raise children.

Worry not, there may be a very simple solution, I think that there should be a national effort to improve manners and the government could help by implementing a coupon program like they did for digital TV converters to allow citizens to purchase a TASER!

Unlike other conventional weapons, the Taser can be conveniently discharged to work anywhere on the body without the body fluid mess that is caused with knives, guns and other more medieval devices. These kinder and gentler persuasive devices can send two electrodes flying through the air into a specified target area and can penetrate up to two cumulative inches of clothing. The device propels wires to conduct energy to affect the sensory and motor functions of the nervous system which allows the teaching of proper etiquette to mental midgets from a safe distance of 5 meters or approximately 15 feet. Theses devices also can be applied as a direct contact to the skin if you want to share your thoughts on improving one's manners in a more personal way.

Ladies, don't worry, the Tasers and their accompanying holsters are now available in designer colors including teal blue and pink to match any ensemble. It's perfect for taking to bars and sporting events because it provides one of the only non-lethal means of stopping an overly amorous motor-mouthed moron dead in his tracks, even if under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Not in the market for a strap on, then consider the Cellular Phone Stun Gun. It also comes in a wide array of designer colors and styles, including Blackberry and for a limited time comes with a lipstick case that dispenses pepper spray.

Quality devices are available for under $400 and besides, there aren’t many things funnier than watching a rude person get tased, unless it is multiple taserings. Who doesn’t enjoy that?

 
 

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