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Halloween etiquette or simply: Hey jerk! Get a costume!

October 23, 2009 - Taste Buds
IN LESS than a week, a bunch of witches, super heroes, Hannah Montana wannabes and a variety of ninja warriors with a smattering of Christmas elves (yes, elves - keep your eyes peeled!) will be showing up on doorsteps throughout the Ohio Valley begging for candy.

Why? Because it’s Halloween and trick or treat night is a time virtually every kid has listed on their Top 10 Favorite Holiday Events. Free candy and the chance to wear vampire teeth in public! What’s not to love!

While the Buds don’t mind spending hours making elf shoes (we said to keep your eyes peeled!) and can speak at length on the virtues of using last year’s ninja suit to be this year’s Grim Reaper, there are a few things about trick or treating that do annoy us. Hence: the Buds’ version of trick or treating etiquette.

Trick or treat on your own turf!

Candy is expensive and many are forced to cut back on the treats this year. For those of us in the position of being able to give something to the little beggars, we do ask that only those who actually live in a particular town trick or treat there.

Please, please, please don’t dress up your kids, load up the van and start your trick or treating three days early and six towns over!

It’s just not cool!

No treats unless you are wearing a costume!

No one who shows up on a stranger’s doorstep should do so without the proper attire which could include, but is certainly not limited to, a clown wig.

We don’t mind when teenagers (or even adults) are out trick or treating as long as a costume is involved. A goofy 17-year-old with his hat on backwards, dragging around a pillow case just doesn’t cut it! That is not a costume. It is barely a fashion statement.

Which brings us to our next rule:

No running or cutting through yards!

Those same people who refuse to dress up for the occasion are the same ones that tend to run from house to house, cutting through yards, knocking over tastefully crafted fall displays of hay, gourds and cornstalks, stepping on hardy mums and generally disrupting the festive flow of Halloween!

We hate that! Use the sidewalks for goodness sakes! A jack-o-lantern could get trampled not to mention some little cutie in a Disney Princess outfit!

And, speaking of cuties, please don’t bring infants out trick or treating unless there is another sibling involved.

We love to see adorable infants dressed in Lion King outfits, lady bug wings and pumpkins. But, if they are just being paraded around by their parents with no sibling in sight, it just becomes a little sad.

Babies don’t eat candy! We know this because we’ve had them before!

We know we may sound like nitpickers but these are for your own good!

Go only to houses with the porch light on. Don’t eat any candy until it’s been inspected by adults! Do not go into any homes!

Safety first! Sugar coma later!

Contact The Buds at


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