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Seasonal Smorgasboard

February 24, 2010 - Michael Palmer

Deer Like nice Green Grass

Deer Like Salt

This time of year they can find both alongside the roadways.

The snow covered hillsides are striped with ribbons of seasoned foliage. It is a side effect of our efficient method of salting slippery highways. The salt that melted away the ice and snow now sits alongside the road melting the snow on the berm and banks and revealing the greenery.

The deer have been scraping holes into the deep snow pack and, where available, nibbling on suburban trees and shrubs to survive. Now there is a new source for their nutrition.

Unfortunately, this causes a dangerous condition for drivers who are navigating the local highways at night. These 100 pound plus mobile fender denters are dining just out of the bright beams of the headlights and if they remain there, calmly chewing on their dinner, no problem.

Sometimes these skittish creatures will be frightened by the sudden appearance of the headlights and roar of the car and bolt. Unexplainably, like a deceased cast member of Poltergeist, they run headlong into the light.

It does keep one on their toes driving between basketball games and of course on the commute home.

I have one dented fender from football season, so I am not as fearless as I once was.

Maybe I will buy a pair of those driving lights. They are usually twice as bright as the high beams on oncoming vehicles. Drivers use them to feel more responsible as they obediently flick off their high beams, which they totally do not need with the driving lights on their cars.

I doubt that most are factory. Probably bought at a flea market and added by the vehicle owners. “Hey Coy Bob. Lookie here what I found at the swap meet, these was landing lights off of an old Boeing 707. I think I will grab me some wire and duct tape and hook them up as driving lights on my 4X4 with the 28 inch lift kit.”

Which means that people in oncoming passenger cars will be beaming with joy as these beacons point directly into their faces blinding them - only temporarily.

Which gives the deer a brief opportunity to jump out in front of your car while you are blind.

 

 
 

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