NFL Week 15: Leaving town on a J-E-T-S

So last week when I said the Cardinals were the worst team in the NFL, I meant it. Last week. THIS week, the Cardinals are still pretty bad, but there’s a team out there with bigger quarterback issues. Who? The New York Jets.

To say Mark Sanchez is playing excruciatingly bad would be the under-exaggeration of the year. Thanks to Sanchez’s FIVE turnovers – 4 picks and a fumble on the Jets’ final drive – the Jets are out of playoff contention. I would ask why Rex Ryan left Sanchez in the game so long, when it was obvious he stunk worse than the Hudson River, but I don’t have to, because that leads me to issue number two for the Jets…..

Rex Ryan is clueless, and he’s playing out the season as a lame duck coach. He has to know his days are numbered. And as further proof that he is just shuffling deck chairs on a sinking ship, Ryan announced yesterday that Greg McElroy will start at QB for the Jets on Sunday, which leads me to issue number three…..

This Tim Tebow experiment isn’t working at all. Jets owner Woody Johnson loved Tebow, but apparently Ryan doesn’t share that love. What does it say that Ryan would rather play Tebow on special gimmick plays instead of at quarterback and that McElroy proves to be a better option? The Jets totally over-paid for someone who has basically amounted to a special teams player. And anyway, how sad is it for Tebow that he couldn’t even beat out Mark Sanchez for the starting quarterback job?

Even Jets super fan “Fireman Ed” (you know, the guy in a fireman’s helmet leading the J-E-T-S cheers) quit last month. What a sad state of affairs for this team. While I don’t ever condone a team “packing it in” early, the Jets might be better off sweeping the stands during the next pre-game warm up to find eager fans willing to suit up. Write it down now – Sanchez, Ryan and Tebow will not be Jets next season.

And speaking of New York teams, if you can figure out the Giants, please clue me in. One week, they look like the defending world champions. The following week, they look like they can’t find their way out of the locker room. This was a locker room week. In fact, judging by the 34-0 pasting they took from the Falcons, I’m not sure the Giants players were able to find their way out of their own driveways.

Also this weekend:

– No! My record! Don’t break it!

That’s what Eric Dickerson, the NFL’s single season rushing record holder, has to say to Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. Peterson rushed for 212 yards on Sunday, giving him 1,812 on the year and putting him 294 yards closer to Dickerson’s record setting 2,105 yards. Dickerson, to his credit, wished Peterson well but admitted that he doesn’t want his record to fall. This would be quite the accomplishment for Peterson on the heels of his serious knee injury last year, but it won’t be easy with Houston and Green Bay remaining on the schedule. It’s OK for Dickerson to be proud of his record – it’s stood for 28 years. So long as he doesn’t attend the games wearing a Texans foam finger or a Green Bay cheese head, he can keep his dignity, even if his record does fall.

– The NFL’s popularity contest, now in jersey form!

According to, Robert Griffin III tops all jersey sales. In fact, the top six most popular jerseys on that site belong to quarterbacks. Peyton Manning (well, duh) is second, followed by Discount Double Check Aaron Rodgers, Eli “The Other” Manning, Tom “Mr. Gisele Bundchen” Brady and Andrew “New Kid on the Block” Luck. Getting the QB’s jersey on your favorite team is a pretty easy choice, especially for a fair weather type fan. If your favorite player happens to be the quarterback, that’s great, but show me a person wearing the jersey of his team’s center, and I’ll show you a die-hard fan.

– Fantasy football battle of the Hershbergers delayed one week.

Despite my idiocy in thinking I could trust the Browns defense against a backup Washington quarterback, I managed to pull out a victory in the first round of the fantasy football playoffs. While I assumed a matchup with my husband loomed next, the teams were actually re-seeded, and it looks like both Hershbergers must win this week in order to play in the ultimate household battle – the fantasy football championship game! (Cue scary music.) In an ironic twist of fate, my husband will actually be playing against my fellow TL coworker Kim Collette, while I am matched up against Kim’s fiance, Ron. (Cue even scarier music.) I hope you can stand the wait to find out what will happen. I can barely stand it myself.

Well, I was going to attempt to list some playoff scenarios here, but frankly, they’re making my head hurt, and I’d just rather go dunk some Christmas cookies in milk. Mmm….cookies….. Anyway, for brevity’s sake, let’s just say in the AFC, Cincinnati faces Pittsburgh in a game with big wild card implications, and in the NFC, there’s a three way tie for the top in the NFC East between Washington, Dallas and New York, so those teams are also looking for wins. And perhaps the game that means the least this week, well except maybe not to the players’ parents, the Raiders take on the Panthers in, YAWN, who cares? And no Monday night game means we will all have to find something else to watch on TV while we’re waiting up for Santa.

Until next week, friends, enjoy the games and Merry Christmas!