IT’S SAFE to say that most people have heard the saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

Life has literally given me lemons. A lot of lemons and the saying is actually not bad advice, because when you get stuck with a bunch of lemons, finding something to do with them is a bit difficult.

Unfortunately, I think I need to find a few other uses for lemons, because I happen to have a lot of lemons – 140 of them to be exact.

To give you a little background – I purchased the lemons, along with a lot of other, non-perishable items for a lemon shake stand to help in raising funds for the Bellaire Kiwanis Club. We were hoping to set something up for the final day of the Bellaire All-American Days.

The art of making lemon shakes isn’t overly difficult. You cut a lemon in half, put one half in a juicer/press, extract the juice, put the crushed lemon half in a cup with a scoop of sugar, ice and add water. Cover and shake and stick a straw in it and there you have it.

Earlier in the week, I bought all of the supplies including a 25-pound bag of sugar, 280 cups and 3,000 straws. I know that’s a lot of straws but I figured they can come in handy for future fund-raisers and since I purchased this with my own money, I can use a few at home. My son is now 6 years old and likes to use straws.

I then had to acquire some lemons and went to a local produce seller who hooked me up with a case. I thought it was something of a coincidence that I got 140 and had bought 280 cups – the exact number of cups I would need if we sold every lemon.

The only other things needed at that point were paper towels, napkins and water. Paper towels and cocktail napkins are in good supply at my home and since I have a five-gallon water cooler, things were ready to move forward.

Unfortunately, Mother Nature was in a foul mood on the final day of the All-American Days Festival, sending rain and lightning most of the day. The events had to be canceled and are rescheduled for June 20.

Anyway, I doubt the lemons will keep that long and that has me at my current predicament.

Since I tend to buy lemons in very limited quantities, one or two at a time, I’m not really sure what to do with them and need to find a use for them before they start to turn into the equivalent of lemon raisins. Worse yet, I could end up with a house full of fruit flies – so the clock is ticking. The one thing I’m not worried about it getting scurvy. Paper cuts, however, are now a huge concern.

The first potential use is obviously lemonade. One-hundred-and-forty lemons would make a lot of lemonade. Most recipes I have for lemonade call for three to four lemons to make a two-quart pitcher. If I use four lemons per pitcher, that would make 35 pitchers, or 17-1/2 gallons. That’s a lot of lemonade.

Better yet, I could combine my beer-making equipment with a portion of the lemonade and allow it to ferment. I won’t be able to retire under this option, but I don’t think I’d care about it. Making hard lemonade would be a lot more work, but it would also keep a lot longer and I don’t think I’d be worried about any leftover lemons for a long time.

Of course, I don’t have to devote all of the lemons just to lemonade.

There are a lot of food dishes that require lemons. One of my favorites is turkey piccata. I like most types of fish, too. Baked salmon with butter, lemon slices and fresh herbs is always tasty. That should take care of a few more lemons, but that still leaves a lot more to get through.

One suggestion I got was to was to make lemon sherbet – maybe a quart or two will be in the works. It sounds like a good idea, but even with lemonade, a few dinners and one dessert, I still think I might be stuck with a few more of those lemons.

I tried my hand at making homemade laundry detergent once. It works, but doesn’t offer much in the way of fragrance. Maybe a little juice from a lemon or two will help to give it a nice, fresh smell. If I could figure out how to get the oil out of the lemon, I might even be able make a batch of homemade furniture polish.

There is one other option I have. With hotter weather on its way, 17-1/2 gallons of lemonade might pay off. I could put my son to work and let him open a lemonade stand and earn his keep by earning enough money so I can retire.

Schuler can be reached at shoe@timesleaderonline.com