HAVING A family is always challenging.

And, having a family in which all the members need to get out of the house at virtually the same time is akin to landing the troops on the beaches of Normandy.

That is precisely the reason I think of myself as the commander-in-chief of this Graham army. I keep them on schedule and give all six of its member their marching orders. The only problem is that the members of my command think they are in a “volunteer” outfit and the “orders” I am barking at them are merely suggestions.

One place the troops need to follow their “orders” is when it comes to the shower/bathroom schedule in the morning.

All the members of this woman’s army get up at a scheduled time and they have to stick to the schedule and enter the bathroom for grooming in the same order to allow everyone to exit the barracks and get to their duty stations (work or school) in a timely fashion.

If one member misses Reville the entire maneuver may be put in jeopardy.

The staggered rise and shine routine seems to work bet Having the troops head to the showers in waves helps avoid a bathroom bottleneck and ensures at least some hot water for everyone.

This routine is well established and things normally go well during our family’s daily maneuvers but every once in a while some one makes a Gomer Pyle-like move and it sets us all back.

Recently, the Gomer in our unit’s name is Ian!

This recent high school graduate has deviated from his usually routine now that school is out and work is his only obligation. That means instead of getting up at 5:45 a.m. and heading out before I rally the other troops, he just rolls out of bed when the spirit moves him and jumps line on the shower detail.

This line jumping causes the entire brigade to fall out of formation. And, the leader (namely yours truly) becomes quite agitated, threatening to throw him in the brig for an undetermined amount of time. Court martials be darned!

When he throws off the schedule, I then have to get the troops in formation and operations rolling PDQ!

To be honest, this move usually involves a lot of yelling a la Sgt. Carter style. I find my troops respond better to loud noises, namely my voice at high decibels close to their ears. It’s akin to a bomb going off but less messy.

In truth, my son is not the only one who has thrown us off course. My husband – second in command – has also been known to sleep in and throw off the schedule.

Thankfully, now that summer is here I don’t have to be Sgt. Carter, Sgt. Schultz or Col. Klink. I can give the troops some leave time and that means I have about three entire months before I have to turn into Beetle Bailey’s red-faced Sarge.

Besides, I could use a little R & R myself. Maybe I’ll take a long shower now that the line will be dwindling in the morning.

Ahh, summer!

I just need to get them all on board with KP?duty and I’ll be set for life!

Graham can be reached at tgraham@timesleaderonline.com.