HAVE YOU ever been stuck somewhere you didn’t want to be?

Let’s take this one step further. Have you ever been stuck somewhere you didn’t want to be on your birthday?

One of the ladies at my church had this happen to her just recently.

Because I can, I’ll change her name to Billy Jo just to protect her identity. I am doing this only because she doesn’t like to be in the public limelight. And she would be so mad if I?told you her name was really Betty Jean.

It seems that our little Billy Jo had spent most of this particular Sunday in her usual pew waiting for the preacher to say “Amen” so she could head out to the little girls room.

Immediately after he finally managed to utter what she had been waiting to her, Billy Jo rushed to the rest room and shut the door behind her.

After washing her hands, she unlocked the door and turned the handle, only to find that the handle did just that: turn and turn and turn. Yep, that is right. She was stuck!

The door was stuck. No matter how she tried, that darn door wouldn’t open.

She was now stuck … unbeknownst to her fellow Sunday morning worshippers who patiently awaited her arrival at the sugar-laden treat table for a bit of fellowship!

And, since it was Billy Jo’s birthday, the waiting crew was wanting to sing an enthusiastic round of “Happy Birthday” to our captured little celebrant. (Really, to be honest, everyone was wanting to do was eat!)

As the group tapped their toes in anticipation of her eventual arrival and the rousing rendition of the song which lends birthday wishes, Billy Jo continued to be a prisoner of the ladies room!

Finally, some smart soul (who just maybe was your’s truly!) went to the bathroom door and enquired into Billy Jo’s well being.

“Hey, Billy Jo!” the Smart One said. “Are you ok?”

“I can’t get out,” replied Billy Jo. “I’m stuck.”

“You are stuck?” asked the Smart One.

“Yes,” replied the birthday girl.

“What do you mean by stuck?” asked the Smart One.

“The door is unlocked but it just won’t open,” Billy Jo said. “The handle just turns. It turns and turns and turns but nothing else happens.”

“OK,” the Smart One said. “Want me to jam your birthday cake under the door?”

“Ah, no!” Billy Jo said with just a tinge of panic in her voice. “I would rather get outta here.”

“Hmmmmmmm,” the Smart One thought as she contemplated ways to free the captured birthday girl. “Hang on.”

And being “smart” she rushed off to gather up some of the men of the church.

“Hey!” she shouted to the crowd of well-wishers. “Billy Jo is stuck in the bathroom.”

In unison, the men all jumped up and rushed off to the ladies room and began contemplating how to free Billy Jo.

“We need tools,” one said.

“We don’t have any,” said another.

“Billy Jo!” another cried. “Turn the handle.”

“I’ve been turning the handle for 15 minutes and nothing is happening!” she cried back.

“Well, she’s stuck,” one of the guys said. “Looks like she is going to be in there for a while.”

Luckily, just at the right moment, the Smart One’s son and son-in-law walked in to the mix. Not only was it Billy Jo’s birthday … it was her lucky day because the two late arrivals apparently have side jobs as breaking and entering specialists. The son whipped out his penknife while the son-in-law grabbed his credit card and within a few minutes, the birthday girl was free and listening to a rousing rendition of the birthday song while thinking that her favorite gift of the day was the arrival of two B & E experts!

Sedgmer may be reached by email: ksedgmer@timesleaderonline.com