T-L Photo/GAGE VOTA Undo’s Restaurants co-owner Anthony “Herk” Sparachane, on left is given the 30th annual Grand Illusions Saute award by last year’s winner Whiteside auto dealership president and owner Ted Showalter.

ST. CLAIRSVILLE – Undo’s Restaurants co-owner Anthony “Herk” Sparachane was “sauted” by friends and family to raise money for Ohio Cancer Research at its 30th annual Grand Illusions Saute.

Sparachane was “sauted” by ex-business partner Ryan Forgacs, friend Beau Catalano, nephew Jamie Zelewicz, daughter Jennifer Jones and brother Nick Sparachane, who all spent the evening telling jokes at Herk’s expense.

Ohio Cancer Research Executive Director Bill Boggess said more than 300 people were in attendance at the annual event.

“In the Ohio Valley, specifically right here in St. Clairsville, it’s amazing how much support they provide for Ohio Cancer Research. We are a really unique organization, and we are really the only organization of our type, in that we fund the best, newest and greatest ideas in cancer research,” Boggess said. “The community here has always recognized that and valued that, especially because cancer is so prevalent in the Ohio Valley. The people here have always understood the value of what we do. It just amazes me. I mean, we raise money all around Ohio, but this is one of the most consistently successful events we do.”

He added that Herk’s brother, Nick Sparachane, was “sauted” exactly 10 years ago. Boggess said the Sparachane family is incredibly charitable.

“I have nothing but respect for Herk Sparachane and what he’s done for the whole community. He has raised money for so many worthy causes and individuals, organizations, whether it is family in need that are going through a health crisis, youth sports or scholarships, any number of other causes,” Boggess said. “He’s been so incredibly giving of his time, expertise and money. And now we can count OCR in that family of things that he has really made a difference with.”

Herk said nearly everyone in attendance has been affected by cancer.

“Cancer is such a horrible disease. Everyone probably has a story here. I can look around and see lots of sad stories. I see people who’ve lost their parents, husbands, wives, and even people who have lost their kids,” Herk said. “It’s a horrible disease. That’s why we all have to keep giving to cancer research. We’ve got to keep doing fundraisers for them.”

Since its inception, OCR has funded 178 projects and 174 researchers in Ohio and has awarded $8,564,600, according to Boggess. Those projects and researchers have generated $1,064,266,012 through seed grants.

Forgacs kicked things off by joking that he’s waited 30 years to “saute” Herk.

“I’ve waited 30 years to saute this guy and then he goes and gets sick and ruins all of my fat jokes,” Forgacs said. “Speaking of being sick, your blood work came back. You tested positive for Ragu.”

Catalano was next. He said that when he heard Herk was receiving an award, he assumed it was for eating the most spaghetti and meatballs in one sitting.

“If you don’t know, I ended up buying Herk’s house. When I moved in, I opened a closet and his wedding tux was still hanging there, and the return tag was still good,” Catalano said. “We opened up the freezer and his wedding cake was still there. It wasn’t even frozen. It was untouched.”

Batting third was Zelewicz. He said that when he arrived, he thought he walked into the wrong room.

“I came here to roast Herk but it looks like I’m at Pablo Escobar’s wedding. I mean, whoever sold him that suit has never seen him eat, I guarantee you that,” Zelewicz said. “But check out this room, pretty amazing crowd here, right? All of your entire families here, your childhood friends, employees, business associates and some acquaintances, all dressed in their best to come and see you in a suit, alive. You’re attending your own funeral, because we’re going to bury you tonight.”

Jones spoke next. She joked that the event is probably the longest her father has ever been in one place, besides when he had surgery after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

“This is officially the longest he’s ever been in one place, including his marriage. If he’s not here, I need someone to call him, please. He doesn’t know his way around anywhere. Please believe me when I tell you that he could get the GPS lost. This man could literally miss a turn in a circle,” Jones said. “And if he answers his phone, you have to talk quickly. If you’ve ever talked to him, you know you have about five seconds before he hangs up on you. His phone calls are a little bit like a hostage negotiation. He says what he needs to say, then click. He’s not rude, he’s just done talking. Sometimes even telemarketers get impressed by how quickly he just hangs up. But don’t worry, he probably doesn’t have his keys to get anywhere. He’ll be back. And again, his phone — it’s in here. It’s lost too, just like him. Whenever my dad loses his phone for longer than a day, he just goes and gets a new one. T-Mobile, Verizon, AT&T — it doesn’t matter what cell phone carrier.”

Herk’s brother Nick, former mayor of Wheeling, spoke last and said when he was running for office, his naysayers used rumors of his family’s alleged mafia connection against him.

“We all know that we grew up in a gambling family. When I was running for politics, they were saying that we were mob connected. I had to fight through that. I will say tonight, because everybody from Benwood is here, our cousin the police chief is here, but the Sparachane family is guaranteeing your security,” Nick said. “We grew up like every American family. We had a little corner bar called the Flamingo Club. We had illegal hours, operated 24 hours a day. We had illegal slot machines and illegal sports betting. Now, when you walked into the bar, there were only 10 bar stools, and it looked really calm. But if you were in the back room, there were four TVs, video live feeds of all the race tracks in America. We knew my dad [Anthony “Undo” Sparachane] was a bookie. We knew what the odds were on every horse race in America. We also knew who was going to win the race before the race.”

Herk spoke last and recalled receiving a call from Walmart when his daughter was young. He said the store manager informed him that Jones was not allowed in the store anymore because she drug another girl across the floor in a fight.

He then turned his attention to his brother.

“Nick always makes the best of every bad situation. I guarantee that if he was on the Titanic, he’d say, ‘Wow, this is like Cedar Point. They got surfboards. I can surf my way to New York.'”

He then recalled a story about Zelewicz being slapped by three family members at the same time on a trip to Hawaii.

“He’s got to be the only guy who ever got a hat trick in Hawaii,” Herk said.